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Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Words and actions

later this morning i will go before a judge. i expect to be sentenced to jail for my part in an accident last fall. i have turned it around. ten months of a new life in sobriety as of the 13th. today the price to pay for a choice. i pray for the words to speak to the young man who i injured. i pray he have peace of mind and heart and his family find freedom and inspiration in him as a special man. i pray my daughters find peace and comfort from their mother if i am put away.
i am grateful for today and simply for life.
until later......mark

Monday, 07 September 2009

time

More than two months.
Life has changed.
Been grateful every day.
Missed this place.
Much to share.
Feeling again.
Still numb in places.
Back to basics.
Back to self.
From self to others.
The reward be it peace.

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Crossing Over

Crossing over
into the unknown.
Crossing over
from a secure land
to one where roads
we have never walked.

Companion and Guide,
You lay the map before me.

You say to me,
“Cross over the bridge,
go ahead, come on over,
it is sturdy enough”.

“Don’t look down,
Do not hesitate,
You may get terrified
and never walk across”.

“Don’t look back too long
or you will lose courage
and want to be complacent
and stay where you are”.

“Hang on, keep going.
The bridge is to get you
to the other side.
Trust Me to protect you”.

For all of us in transition
who have bridges to cross,
Bless us, God on the journey,
Grant us the desire to go ahead.

Help us to trust
that the bridge will be strong
and the risk will be worth it.

For this we pray....

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Gratitude today

Today I am grateful for being a father and to share my unique experiences in life with them. I pray that they will understand more about life through me and the decisions and choices I have made, and that they may make good choices in their own lives.
I am grateful for my own father who has always tried to make the right decisions and choices and give me the advice he felt was appropriate from his own perspective.
I am grateful for the safe problem free 100 mile ride on my motorcycle yesterday.
I am grateful for a visit to a friends house last nite.
I am grateful for the AA meeting yesterday and Friday nite. The feeling of family and of absolute acceptance is exactly what I need and I am grateful for the AA community and friends I have in the fellowship. I am grateful for the positive people in my life who understand and listen and truly care.

Monday, 15 June 2009

AA Prayer for the Day

"I pray that I may earn the rewards of God's power and peace. I pray that I may develop the feeling of being led by God".
My prayer has been answered. I am living the rewards. I now pray that I stay on his path, led by the guidance of his hand on my shoulder and not taking my will back and making my own way.

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Seven Months Sober


I am grateful for a good job that I started last Thursday.    I did not apply for this job.   A recruiter found me.   We interviewed last Wednesday and I started the next day.   The Holy Spirit guided me to this opportunity and I did not hesitated to take the next step.

I am grateful for the twenty six homeless people who I met Friday nite when I spent the nite at the church they were at in order to host and help them thru the nite.

I am grateful for my sponsor who is a very important person in my life. He serves many roles to me and is filled with wisdom and humble guidance.

I am grateful for my daughters who are learning to live life and understand that bad things do happen in life but those things that happen serve to strengthen us and become better people.

I am grateful for striking a deal on a motorcycle I will be picking up this week. I am grateful for the funds to be able to purchase it. I am grateful I am taking the rider safety course to be a responsible rider instead of doing like I did in the past and not get the endorsement and breaking the law.

I am grateful for the ever inspiring special friends in my life.   My life feels more harmonious than it ever has.   I feel the hand of the Lord on my shoulder.   I am grateful that he and others have reached out to me and pulled me from the fires of Hell and placed me on the right path in this life.

No matter where today leads, today is the best day of my life.   I had my seven month anniversary of sobriety yesterday, June 13^th.   I never imagined seven months ago that my life would be as good as it is today!

Tuesday, 09 June 2009

A pebble from the hand of the Lord

My simple thought or two, for today.....
The Lord works in our lives in mysterious ways. The Lord brings elements into our lives to help us feel, and by our free will of choice that he has given to us, we are responsible to seek and find him. Times of what we feel are bad, unfair and even aweful are the Lords sparks in us to try and start our fire, to bring to awareness his presence in our lives, his call to us to be his conduit through us to others. The sickness in friends and family, the cancer that comes to a loved one, these are messages to us from the Lord. To understand that the one we love, who will be leaving us, will be taking a position with the Lord and from that position, be another guiding hand on our shoulder. The Lord will drop a pebble into our ocean of life, and the little pebble, falling from his hand will create a splash that will wash a wave of his grace over us. We may feel we are drowning, but with mindfulness of the origination of the wave, we will know in our soul that the water is the purity of God washing us clean, and that his hand is holding ours, and will not let us drown in the darkness, but instead, the Lord will raise us to the light.....

Monday, 08 June 2009

Our Father

Our Father
            For all who are in recovery

Hallowed be thy name
            May the Lord be exalted in our recovery

Thy kingdom come
            Rule and reign in us in our recovery

Thy will be done
            In recovery and in life, your will not my will

Daily bread
            Meet all our needs

Forgive us our trespasses == sins
As we forgive those who trespass against us == those who wronged us
            The power of forgiveness and acceptance be with us

Lead us not into temptation == relapse

Deliver us from evil == drugs and alcohol

For Thine
            is the Kingdom == Your way
            the power == your strength
            the glory == your praise

Forever!

Thursday, 07 May 2009

Gratitude today

I am grateful I am a participant in life and not a spectator.

I am grateful for attending an author lecture last night and meeting the person who wrote a book I recently read.

I am grateful for a special person in my life.

I am grateful for my ability to remain mindful of the need to keep my life simple.

I am grateful for the chance to take time later today to visit a friend who is in the hospital.

I am grateful for today.

Wednesday, 06 May 2009

Gratitude Today

I am grateful for the fitness program that started yesterday.    I will participate four hours a day everyday for the next four weeks.

I am grateful for my health and that my injuries are healing and I have no permanent problems.

I am grateful for my sponsor and for his time to speak to me yesterday.   Unable to sleep since Saturday, awoke yesterday with an emergency in my mind. To me, it was a life or death situation because my thoughts were composed of fear, resentment, regret, anger and rage. These toxic thoughts took away my ability to be present in the moment and projected me into the future of thinking “what if?” and playing out responses to possible future situations.   I cannot live this way, and yet, I was unable to correct my outlook and focus by myself.   He and I met for an hour yesterday and he let the thoughts and feelings unfold in our discussion and the result was a new direction and outlook for me to see and to take action to correct my thinking.   I believe the help he gave to me was delivered through a spirit that used him to help me.   He does not have answers, but he is open to let the answers flow through him from above.   For him I am forever grateful.

I am grateful for the aa meeting last nite.   The setting was comfortable in a circle on comfortable couches and chairs.   The sharing was genuine, humble and calm.   Great people and great messages.

I am grateful for a grotto where I can go and find silence and become present in myself and in the moment.   A sanctuary of solitude and peace.

I am grateful for God bringing special people into my life.

Sunday, 03 May 2009

Gratitude Today

I am grateful for the mens fellowship mass yesterday morning and the gathering after mass to discuss the readings for Sunday morning.   I am grateful for the opportunity to attend.

I am grateful for the AA meeting after mass and for sharing my recent experience of how unmanagability can overtake me, and how now I have the tools to deal with it.

I am grateful for the well-wishes I received on my birthday.

I am grateful I attended the wedding for my cousin last nite.   I am grateful to still be accepted by the extended family.    I am grateful I stayed late and experienced a fun time and not having to have anything to drink from the open bar.

I am grateful to have a prayer to say every day to manage resentments I have toward others.   Resentments are toxic to me.

I am grateful to have my license and a vehicle to drive.

I am grateful everthing went as planned at court on Friday.

I am grateful for this day.   The sky is clear blue.    The sun is warm. I sit on the patio now under the sun and I am grateful to be here experiencing this special day.

I am grateful for the plans I have for today.   Today is the best day of my life.